i am feeling rather listless and tired these few days.. i really do not know the reason why. its like i get tired out sooo damn easily. maybe its bcos i have been sleeping rather late for the past one week, im really exhausted. im starting to get the urge to study cos of my shocking results from the mid years. i havent told my parents abt it either. i just want to do well for my promos and i am aiming for at least a few Bs...or rather, i dont want to retain. XD
sometimes when things like exams and all gets me down, i would usually just blast LP music and all the heavy metal i got. it works wonders, but not this time.. i wont say dat im emo or wad, but i just feel abit sad and helpless. im kinda lost right now, and in more ways then one.
i have also suddenly got back the urge of wanting to tell her how i feel and how much i want to be with her, but now dat shes talking to me and even asking me to go to her care group events like bbq and stuff with her, i have to control myself and my emotions cos i really do not wish to wreck this good relation with her so far. but the urge is super strong. the pain is slowly eating me away, evrytime i see her, it just keeps getting stronger and stronger. i really want us to be more than just friends, but it seems that she has alot of problems already and if i were to be part of her life, i would just be another burden for her..i want to be there for her, i want to ease her load of problems, i want to be the one whom she can fall back onto, but im just not the right guy...depressing....