i feel that the real me is starting to emerge again...the urge to be a rebel is getting stronger and stronger. i dunno if its better to be my old self or to continue controlling myself. im starting to realise that i have not changed from the past at all. its just incubating inside of me while i have been putting up this front. the urge to challenge authority is back..the urge to do mischievious deeds is alrdy following through my veins once again. hahah and yet it seems better this way...
i have been pretty snappy these few days, just yesterday i blew up when reza played a small harmless prank on me, a very rare occurance these days, but a common thing of the past. the feeling of not wanting to follow the majority and being a lone wolf is also coming back...i get really pissed off if im goaded to do things that i have no intension of doing in the first place...i wonder if the outcome will really be as severe as it was back then if i really 'explode'...we can only wait and see...